Speed Dating

It seems that where there is friendfinder, there is bound to be a company waiting to help hook them up with other eligible mates. One of the most interesting opportunities available for busy singles is speed dating. The idea is thought to have been created by the Jewish community in New York sometime late in the 1990’s. The concept involves a number of single men and women who typically meet in a bar on a set night and take part in short dates that only last a handful of minutes. By the end of the evening, each of the men and women have had a date with every person in attendance. It can be a really fun night — if done up right. But knowing what to expect beforehand will certainly play to your favor.

You should have a plan of attack when you arrive for your speed-dating affair. Like any date, a little bit of prep time will help ensure you have a fruitful evening out. Some events have very short dates – as little as four minutes apiece. That means you’d better be on the ball if you plan on finding out enough about a person to make a second date worthwhile. Don’t plan on sitting down with a list of questions and running through them. It will scare most of the sane people away and the point of these quick dates isn’t to cram a normal date into such a short period of time. Instead, focus on how you get along with the other person. Pay attention to your conversation. Watch the way they come across. See if you can imagine a longer date with them. In most cases, that’s all you will have time for. If there are a few things that you really want to know, by all means ask, but don’t let your list get in the way of your relationships.

“The secret to speed dating is this: the more people you seduce, the more choice you’ll have when the night comes to an end.”

Relationships are what you’re building with each and every one of the people you sit with. There could be five people at the event or 25. The second you acknowledge another person, your relationship with them begins. It could be over in minutes but that’s not how you need to think. You should go in with the mindset that you’re going to want to marry each and every person you meet. Imagine how that would change the way you approach the date. Knowing that you were going to spend the rest of your life with the person across the table would change conversation a little, wouldn’t it? How you react to one another and how you speak would change. Figuring out the little details can happen over a lifetime. What’s important is to enjoy that moment for all its worth. Your relationships will start on a better foot if you approach them from that angle.

There is a simple secret that you should keep in mind when heading out to a speed-dating event. Speed dating involves two people making a simple choice about each other. Do you or do you not want to go out again? Usually you’ll be armed with notepads where you can scribble down whether or not you’d be interested in seeing that person again. At the end of the event, the organizers collect your sheets. If both you and another person agreed that you’d like to date again then your contact information will be passed on. The secret to speed dating is this: the more people you seduce, the more choice you’ll have when the night comes to an end.

Choice is everything when it comes to speed dating. Imagine what it would be like for the event to have come to a close, only to realize that you should have tried to impress date number 17 a little more because everyone is talking about them and you’re beginning to second guess yourself. The only way to avoid this problem is to turn on the charm. I used the word seduce earlier, and I meant it. Normally seduction comes with some pretty negative connotations, but it doesn’t hurt to think this way. You only have a short time with each date and you’ll want to use it to find out a few things about them but it will be equally important to spend as much time or more trying to make them interested in you.

There are a number of ways to improve your chances of scoring a yes on your dates ticket. You should use every possible way to seduce them. Think of it as practice. It doesn’t matter what they have stuck in their teeth, how bad they’re dressed or how much they go on about their ex. Practice on them! When they’re talking, use body language to get your message across. Always try to smile and nod your head. Even the smallest of movements with your mouth will register and if you look like you’re having a good time, they’ll be compelled to think that they are, too. And always be polite and thank everyone when it’s time to switch seats. By using every avenue available to try and catch their interest, you’re bound to have way more marks in the “yes” column then you can use.

Speed dating is fun and it’s an evening out. It usually costs on average about the price of month’s membership to a dating site, so you won’t break the bank. At the very least it’s a story you can tell your friends about over lunch, and we can all do a lot worse than providing a little good-natured entertainment for our friends!

The Test Date

It’s a rarity that you’ll find friend online who you click with so completely that you go from strangers to star-crossed lovers in a matter of a few conversations. Generally, these things take time. You need to build a rapport first. You have to get to know who they are, what they stand for and where they want to go in life. Once you get an idea of their quirks and they begin to get an idea of who you are then fine – move over Romeo and Juliet. Probably the most important step in this progression, though, is your first face-to-face meeting. Consider it a test date, of sorts. You get to see if their in-person persona matches their online presentation. If you’re heading out for a test date, here are a few things to keep in mind.

“Hopefully you have been reading their body language and listened to what they had to say and you have a good indication of whether or not you’ve passed the test.”

First impressions will often ensure a second date or sink things right from the start. When I speak of first impressions, I’m talking about those first few moments of meeting – the first five to thirty seconds. You had better be on your game for this stage in your test date, if any. To do this, you just need to plan ahead. Start by ensuring you’re feeling great. Take time to make sure you’re looking your best. This could mean grabbing a new outfit or simply getting enough rest the night before. Make sure to show up early for your date so you don’t have worry lines crinkled atop your forehead. When you meet, make sure to smile! It’s a small thing but smiles are contagious and if you’ve ever tried to smile and feel bad at the same time, you’ll know how difficult it is. Make sure to look them in the eye and look at nothing but them for those first few moments. They are going to want to feel like the center of your attention. Ask a question. Show them you’re interested. Don’t take those first important seconds to tell them how wonderful you are. Make it about them. Compliment them on something they’re wearing but make sure it’s not sleazy. We’re sure their butt looks really good in those jeans but save that for another day. First impressions deserve a lot of attention so start your test date off right by preparing a little beforehand.

Your goal is exploration. This means that you are testing the waters of his or her personality. You want to ask some of the important questions on your mind but make sure you don’t get too personal. Typical taboo subjects such as sex, money, religion and politics should probably be avoided if possible. These are best covered when you know each other a little better and can read what’s meant by certain looks or phrases. You don’t need to go pushing any hot buttons accidentally. An equally important part of this process is letting your date ask you questions. It’s important to allow this to happen because as much as you’re going to want to make sure that they are right for you, you’re going to want to be certain that you are right for them. Not only that, you can learn a lot about their concerns and values by listening to the types of questions they ask and the way they ask them. The first goal of any first date is to test the waters so make sure you take advantage of this essential occasion.

Eventually your date will come to an end. Hopefully you have been reading their body language and listened to what they had to say and you have a good indication of whether or not you’ve passed the test. If you’re at all uncertain, don’t push for more than a peck on the cheek or a hug. It will only come off awkward if you plant one on someone who doesn’t want to kiss you back. Even if they do, a little bit of restraint goes a long way to increasing the excitement of your next fateful meeting.